Posted in The Happiness Project

Home

“Home”! Such a confusing word for girls! Whenever we start to say something about home, someone stops us and ask, which one?

Really, which one is my real home? The one I grew up with my parents? My husband’s home, which came with my wedding as in-law home? Or the rented 2 bedroom apt currently we are living in? Or may be I still don’t have my home yet, I have to buy a house to call it my home.

I know this is my home, the one where I live with my husband, in Canada. But when I say back home, I mean my home, the one where I was born and brought up, where my parents live. They clean my room regularly, everything is kept as it was when I left home 6 years ago for Canada, and they still call it my room. Just few days ago my dad painted the whole house. They painted all rooms with some white-ish colored paint, but mine. I was very surprised to know that they re-painted my room with the same color I chose 16 years ago. One wall dark pink and other three light pink. I mean, seriously? Why? I choose that color because I was a teenager back then! My obsession with pink is over long time ago. When I asked my dad, he didn’t answer my question. May be he wanted to keep the essence of the room, may be sometimes he wants to go to my room and feel that I’m still nearby, went somewhere, will be back by the evening. My mom still cleans my desk and my dressing table with great care, even though there is nothing there. She cleans my book shelf, my novels, my bangle shelf, my window where I used to stick photos since I was a kid and every other detail. That room is still my room. That house is still my home.

Few months back, one of my uncle was suggesting my dad as no one other than my parents live there, and me, my brother and sister are settled in North America, they should consider giving the the house to a building developer and build an apartment there. By doing that my parents will have few apartments, one to live in and others to sell/rent whatever they want. It will be much secure and updated than an old three storied house. The idea was really good. But I and my sister opposed immediately, almost cried and said we are not supporting this. My brother, the eldest and most mature one, didn’t say anything at first either, later said that it would be good for our parents but was clearly emotional. My mom got so angry with the idea that my dad didn’t said another word. I remembered that I used to tell my dad to sell his childhood home and lands located in the countryside, 250 miles away from our house, because nobody lives there and my dad can use the money to something useful. Every time my suggestion made my dad angry. I decided that day that I won’t suggest to sell his house again. That’s his home.

You know the irony? Whenever I start to say something about home to my husband, something like, got a phone call from home, or something happened at home, he immediately thinks I am talking about his home, my home in-law.

Right now, I miss my home. I want to go home. My home.

#Day 14 of 100 days of happiness project

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Author:

Hello! I am Samantha Cara. An ordinary South Asian girl, now living in Canada. This blog is my initial step to keep my stories in one place, my favorite recipes, weight loss tips, movies and books review, and lot more (not sure what else, will figure that out!)....

6 thoughts on “Home

  1. This is the way it is for most adult children and parents– especially those that have had a stable home in the same place. Then the children later in life see how it is on the other side of the fence. Parents as they age are trying to figure out how to live their lives facing their last few decades. Being in that group rather (I’m 53 now), it is agonizing really because we are in the land “in between.” Still our adult children have expectations as do our own aged parents. We can barely wiggle! But our plan is to downsize and have our cottage (which is so far away north that no one else wants to visit!) and a small home near the kids hometown. We can’t really maintain the bigger house we have now in retirement (cost and upkeep). Every time we say we will likely do this or that in “a few years” someone has an opinion about what we should do. But ultimately we should have that freedom with our finances and hobbies. Thinking about your dad’s country home and what you thought and how he felt then gives you a picture too of the feelings involved. We cling to the past facing the future. A thoughtful post!

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    1. Thanks a lot for your wonderful message. I totally relate my story to yours. We all feel same about our parents and our children, isn’t it? We all wish good for each other, but with different perspective. I would be very much interested to hear some more story about you and your kids. Also, I will post some of my stories about my parents too. Please keep in touch.

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  2. Hello, Samantha.
    First of all thank you very much for following my blog. What a great honor to me followed by great woman like you. Talk about home, i have few house at the different country. But for me, my home is the first room that given by my parents to me. I called my bedroom ” inspiration room” I could did many thing there and till now there is nothing change of that room. That is my truly home 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Karina. It is also an honor to me to be followed by you. I wouldn’t call myself great though 🙂 I consider myself as a normal regular women 🙂
      So nice to hear about your home and your room. Really, by “home” that’s the picture we get in our mind, right? I call my room as ‘where all the dreams began’!

      Liked by 1 person

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