Posted in The Happiness Project

Snow Strom!

If you go out when it’s snowing
And look up at the sky,
You’ll feel lots of icy kisses
As the snowflakes flutter by.

~ Barbara Vance

Day 35 of 100 Happy Days: 

It’s snowing since last night. Strom warning was issued for the whole province. The city is back to it’s original color…. 

Today was the snow day for the whole city. Almost everything was closed. But my husband don’t get snow days for his work. So, I spend the whole day working…. It was better this way. I need alone time to concentrate. I’m working 9/10 hours per day for my part time work and job search. But by the end of the day it seems like I haven’t done anything productive. I feel guilty, unproductive and angry when I don’t work on any weekend. My another tension about the Florida trip is that I won’t be working for 6 days. Why is this happening? Why can’t I manage time and work like I used to do before? There’s so many things to do….

  • I have to solve the programming problem I’m trying to figure out since last month. 
  • There are about 100s of openings I want to apply. 
  • I need to apply for the professional engineering designation. I haven’t fill out the application form yet. 
  • I should clean the whole house, but I don’t. I wait till the weekend for my husband to help me out. 
  • I need to book all the theme park and museum tickets for the trip and complete the planning.

There are so many things I want to write in this blog. But I can’t even manage to spend an hour to think and write. I usually get the time to write the daily post when I come to bed at night. I don’t call home regularly now a days, because I fear I can’t spend 20 mins to an hour on phone everyday. I don’t watch TV when I’m home alone. I’m even spending a lot less time on Facebook (well that’s a good thing)! 

What happened to me? When I was working full time, everything was in line, in a system. But now? I have no idea how the time is passing so quickly. I know that looking for a job is a full time work, but I can’t apply for more than 3/4 jobs per day. I am learning a new programming software which is keeping me busy more than it should, as there is no guidelines. By the end of the day I feel mostly hopeless and stressed! I can’t fall asleep fast because of anxiety. For being stressed I wake up multiple times in the middle of the night. I wish I had Hermione’s time turner!